John Kerry enlists help of old white people from Hollywood to battle ISIS. The meeting concluded with Kerry getting a unanimous vote approving the Heinz 72 Virgins division coming out with a new seasoning called Mrs. Daesh. It’s loaded with poison and will kill ISIS users after they sprinkle it on and eat their goat-burgers .

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SOCOM WANTS QUIET! AMERICAN LIVES IN DANGER. Yeah Obama. “Loose lips sink ships” still applies. H/T poppajoe49

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Defense Secretary Slips Up, Reveals Obama Admin LED IRAN Straight to Our Sailors. Sounds to us like the Obama administration drummed up a lame excuse to give Iran $1.7 billion.

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Post reporter Jason Rezaian and others to be freed in prisoner swap, according to Iranian media. The way Obama releases prisoners from GITMO for nothing, we’ll say at least he got something in exchange this time. We’re happy for our released citizens.

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