September 2009

We’re not sure which is worse – the fact that we’re typing these words or that a former Secretary of State actually said them. Alas, it is true. Former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright talks about her firm breasts with CNN anchor John Roberts.

At least we finally know why Clinton gave her the job.

Source: Gateway Pundit

“I’ve talked to the President once since I’ve been on a VTC.”
– General Stanley McChrystal
Source: CBS

“(SEIU president Andy) Stern estimates he visits the White House once a week.”
– Los Angeles Times
Source: Los Angeles Times


“It’s got a good beat and it’s easy to dance to.” Oh, wait. We just had a flashback to American Bandstand in 1959. Or maybe a flashforward to 2059. We’re not sure which.

Don’t ask us to explain this video. It’s oddly hypnotic. It’s in English, but it has German subtitles. It seems legit. But who the hell knows?


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According to the Huffington Post, President Obama is a chess master extraordinaire. No, really. That’s what they said:

President Obama knew about the secret Iranian facility nine months ago. Before he began his strategy of engagement, he knew Iran was lying about its program. When he extended his hand in friendship, he knew Iran had built a secret factory to enrich uranium. Before he offered direct talks, he knew Iran was hiding a nuclear weapons breakout capability.

Each move was denounced as “weak” and “naïve” by the right. That talk looks foolish today. These were the moves of chess master, carefully positioning pieces on the board, laying a trap, and springing it at the opportune moment.

Well, actually, the moves still look weak and naive to us.

We’d say the Huffington Post has it slightly wrong. Obama looks more like the president of the high school chess club than a chess master. And Mahmoud Ahmadinejad looks like one of the tough kids who’s about to give him a wedgie.


– Written by Patrick Michael

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CNN must be kicking themselves for letting Glenn Beck get away.

CNN must be kicking themselves for letting Glenn Beck get away.

The third quarter isn’t quite over on the calendar, but it’s over in the world of ratings. Fox has a lot to celebrate, but everyone else is wondering what the hell hit them. Here are a dozen things that may surprise you about the latest cable news ratings.

1. A perfect ten. All ten of the top ten shows are on Fox News, powered by the O’Reilly-Hannity-Beck troika.

2. Beck kicks butt. Glenn Beck increased the ratings for his time slot a remarkable 136% over the third quarter of 2008.

3. Lucky 13. During September, Fox had the top thirteen programs in cable news.

4. Dominance. The O’Reilly Factor has now been the top-rated cable news show for an unprecedented 106 consecutive months.

5. Better and better. Fox News is the only cable news network to post across the board year-over-year increases.

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And then Obama fantasized that Angela Merkel said, "Hey, big boy, lose the linebacker chick and meet me in my room."

And then Obama fantasized that Angela Merkel said, "Hey, big boy, lose the linebacker chick and meet me in my room."

The same guy who made up enough incidents to write two autobiographies by the time he was forty is now making up supportive quotes from imaginary friends.

ABC News’ Jake Tapper reports:

President Obama at the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation dinner last night, discussing false claims made about the health care reform bill, told a little anecdote.

“I was up at the G20 — just a little aside — I was up at the G20, and some of you saw those big flags and all the world leaders come in and Michelle and I are shaking hands with them,” the president said. “One of the leaders — I won’t mention who it was — he comes up to me. We take the picture, we go behind.

“He says, ‘Barack, explain to me this health care debate.’

“He says, ‘We don’t understand it. You’re trying to make sure everybody has health care and they’re putting a Hitler mustache on you — I don’t — that doesn’t make sense to me. Explain that to me.'”

Asked who this was, White House press secretary Robert Gibbs would say only “a world leader.”

Yeah, sure. And a world famous super model once told us that is her favorite website. She says, “IHTM, why aren’t you as large as Drudge? That doesn’t make sense to me. Explain that to me.”

One story is as true as the other. Guaranteed.


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News flash: The New York Times is conservative

by editor on September 30, 2009

No matter how hard he thinks, George Bush can't remember any support from the New York Times

No matter how hard he thinks, George Bush can't remember any support from the New York Times

The fact that the New York Times is biased is hardly newsworthy. But Media Matters believes that the New York Times is biased to the right. No, really, to the right.

The article complains that Times public editor Clark Hoyt “…manages to get through an entire column about the possibility that the Times is biased in favor of liberals without ever once mentioning the paper’s coverage of the 2000 election or the run-up to the Iraq war, to pick just two of the most obvious counter-examples.”

We must be getting senile. We can’t remember the Times throwing its weight behind George Bush or leading the charge into Iraq. But it gets worse. The article continues:

“The suspicion of bias will never go away. These efforts to bend over backwards to appease the Right — people who will never be appeased — no matter how ridiculous their complaints, in which newspapers like the Times fret over the suspicion of bias regardless of the merits of the complaint, are exactly how the paper ends up handing a presidential election to George W. Bush — and then handing him his Iraq war on a platter.”

To repeat, Media Matters is talking about THE NEW YORK TIMES. Is there another paper named the New York Times that we don’t know about?


– Written by Patrick Michael

Officer Thomas Strain was accused of misappropriating a black man's haircut

Officer Thomas Strain was accused of misappropriating a black man's haircut

What does a cop need to do to get taken off the street? Shoot a suspect? Take a bribe? Steal heroin from the evidence locker?

In this case, officer Tom Strain was accused of having a racially inappropriate hairdo. He was ordered off the street and given desk duty for two days until he changed his corn row haircut.

Here’s how reports the story:

While dozens of black officers across the city wear cornrows, Officer Thomas Strain is white. So when the five-year veteran showed up for work Sept. 3 with the traditionally black hairstyle, it didn’t take long for his colleagues – or his bosses – to notice.

“They pulled him out of roll call and took him right up to the inspector’s office,” said an officer who asked to remain anonymous.

Reached last week, Strain declined to comment about the hair hubbub.

But multiple officers in the 35th say it’s been hot gossip, overshadowed only by worries of potential police layoffs, which were averted Thursday when the state agreed to help alleviate the city’s budget woes.

“It’s absolutely discriminatory,” said one officer. Strain’s cornrows ‘do “was neat. It was above his collar. It’s not like he shaved a Nazi sign or something anti-black or anti-Hispanic on his head. It’s just cornrows. I don’t know what the problem is.”

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“I know it wasn’t rape rape. It was something else, but I don’t believe it was rape rape … When we’re talking about what someone did, and what they were charged with, we have to say what it actually was, not what we think it was.”

In related news, we believe Whoopi is a moron, but not moron moron.

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“Hear our cry, Obama! Deliver us, Obama.” Pardon the expression, but good lord almighty.

Now community organizers are praying to Obama. The Gamaliel Foundation goes way back with Barack Obama and helped organize his early work in Chicago’s poor neighborhoods.

Suddenly, the video clips of school kids singing the President’s praises seem almost innocent by comparison.

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Senator Al Franken (D-ACORN)

Senator Al Franken (D-ACORN)

Shame on us. We’ve been thinking that the election of Al Franken proved that the people of Minnesota need massive psychiatric intervention. But maybe not if the Minneapolis Star-Tribune is to be believed:

…ACORN does have a special place in its heart for at least one prominent Minnesota politician. Last year, it showered praise on Al Franken, endorsing his run for the U.S. Senate. Franken returned the esteem: “I’m thrilled and honored to receive this endorsement,” he gushed in a press release. He added that he was “more motivated than ever to work with ACORN.”

Fact is, ACORN may deserve the credit and the blame for Franken’s election. The scandal-plagued group claims it registered 75% of Minnesota’s 43,000 new voters. Since Franken’s margin of victory was a mere 312 votes, it seems reasonable to assume that ACORN’s dubious new voters were enough to swing the election in the Democrat’s direction.

Of course, Minnesota’s Democrat Secretary of State Mark Ritchie scoffs at that assertion and says there’s nothing to worry about because Minnesota’s voter verification system guarantees the integrity of the election. But you have to take that with a grain of salt because ACORN also endorsed Ritchie and helped get him elected.

Ritchie’s probably more motivated than ever to work with ACORN, too.

Source: Minneapolis Star-Tribune

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Strangers in the night, exchanging glances, wondering in the night, what were the chances

Strangers in the night, exchanging glances, wondering in the night, what were the chances

Love may be grand, but washed-up, drugged-up rocker Courtney Love is so far from grand that she can’t even see it off in the distance.

Here’s how the New York Daily News reports this bizarre story:

Courtney Love is still floating on the charm offensive that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez launched at Wednesday’s screening of Oliver Stone’s new documentary, “South of the Border.” The singer, who came dressed to thrill in a short zipper-front skirt, says she noticed the twice-divorced Chavez checking her out during a Q&A afterward.

“It was the third wink that sold me,” Mrs. Kurt Cobain told us. “He’s a sexy dawg. He invited me to visit his country and I’d like to go. I’ll rock Caracas!”

You may scoff, but we think his odd-couple coupling could work out. Seriously. Courtney and Hugo have so much in common. For example:

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Linguists and liberal Democrats have just discovered that "Barack" is the Swahili word for "empty suit."

Linguists and liberal Democrats have just discovered that "Barack" is the Swahili word for "empty suit."

Howard Fineman takes to the pages of Newsweek to say the words Obamaniacs do not want to hear, especially not from another lib:

 Barack Obama is an empty suit.

The president’s problem isn’t that he is too visible; it’s the lack of content in what he says when he keeps showing up on the tube. Obama can seem a mite too impressed with his own aura, as if his presence on the stage is the Answer. There is, at times, a self-referential (even self-reverential) tone in his big speeches. They are heavily salted with the words “I” and “my.” (He used the former 11 times in the first few paragraphs of his address to the U.N. last week.) Obama is a historic figure, but that is the beginning, not the end, of the story.
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Rush is lighter by 80 pounds and half a million dollars

Rush is lighter by 80 pounds and half a million dollars

It’s not something his liberal critics want to talk about, but Rush Limbaugh is a very generous man. He just donated $500,000 to the House Ear Institute in Los Angeles.

The gift was given in memory of Antonio De la Cruz, M.D., who passed away recently as a result of complications from lymphoma.

Dr. De la Cruz and another House Clinic physician diagnosed Limbaugh with auto-immune inner ear disease (AIED) and eventually performed cochlear implant surgery to restore his hearing.

“Dr. De la Cruz literally saved my career and got me my life back with that surgery,” Limbaugh said. “I wouldn’t have been able to continue my career. For a month before I had the implant surgery, I did my show totally deaf.”

This donation, of course, is on top of the hundreds of thousands of dollars the king of talk gives to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society each year.

So in the end, it turns out that Limbaugh may be deaf, but his critics are the ones who refuse to hear the truth.

Source: Los Angeles Times

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The New York Times has a new motto <i>and</i> a new mascot

The New York Times has a new motto and a new mascot

For generations, the New York Times motto was “All the news that’s fit to print.” Things have changed.

The Times official ombudsman waddled in over the weekend (when most people don’t pay much attention to news) to comment on the paper’s cluelessness on the ACORN scandal and other recent stories thoroughly covered by Fox News and talk radio, but ignored the The Gray Lady.

In a mea culpa entitled, “Tuning In Too Late,” Times Public Editor Clark Hoyt admits, “The Times stood still.” What he should’ve said was that the paper stood still in its best ostrich imitation. Either that or its head was stuck deep where the sun never shines. And it wasn’t the first time.

Hoyt understatedly noted of the Times:

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John Ensign asked the question and most Americans aren't going to like the answer

John Ensign asked the question and most Americans aren't going to like the answer

This is one of those things that’s so simple we wonder why no one thought of it before.

Democrats deny it, but the way Nevada’s Republican Senator John Ensign read the ObamaCare bill, it requires every American to buy insurance, calls for a $1900 penalty for anyone who doesn’t buy insurance, and then calls for a hefty fine on anyone who doesn’t pay the penalty.

So Ensign solved the disagreement simply by asking Joint Committee on Taxation Chief of Staff Tom Barthold to confirm his interpretation. Barthold responded with a handwritten note that said:

“Violators could be charged with a misdemeanor and could face up to a year in jail or a $25,000 penalty.”

It’s a good thing that budget cuts are forcing states to release prisoners early, because they’re going to need the empty cells to house all the ObamaCare debtors.


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This is just plain weird. There’s no other way to describe it.

All the other presidents, prime ministers, tin horn dictators, petty tyrants and grand poobahs wanted their photos taken with President Obama at the U.N. 130 of them lined up at a reception at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

President Obama has exactly the same smile in every shot. In fact, the man seems frozen in time. Like a mind-numbed robot. Like a cardboard cut-out. Like something from Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. Like a Stepford wife. Like…well…you get the idea.

There’s something incredibly eerie about it.


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Van Jones is ancient history. And the ACORN videos are so last week. Let’s move on to the latest Democrat scandal.

Who’s Hassan Nemazee? Merely the latest Democrat fundraiser to go down in flames. He’s accused of embezzling $300,000,000. And yet Joe Biden said, “Had I my way, I would be referring to him as Ambassador Nemazee.”

Much like if we had our way, we would be referring to Joe as former Vice President Biden.

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Sure, he's nuttier than a friggin' fruitcake, but now he's also the recipient of 400,000 of your tax dollars

Sure, he's nuttier than a friggin' fruitcake, but now he's also the recipient of 400,000 of your tax dollars

If you made up this story and stuck it in a movie, no one would believe it. It’s incomprehensible. Just plain incomprehensible.

CBS2 Chicago reports:

The Obama Administration plans to give $400,000 in funding to a Libyan charity run by the Gadhafi family, and U.S. Rep. Mark Kirk (R-Ill.) wants the grant withdrawn.

The money would be divided between two foundations run by the family of Libyan leader Muammar Gadhafi. A $200,000 share is set to go to the Gadhafi Development Foundation, which is run by Gadhafi’s son, Saif, and another $200,000 are to go to Wa Attassimou, an organization run by Muammar Gadhafi’s daughter, Aisha.

Kirk says the grants should be withdrawn in light of the recent return to Libya of Pan Am Flight 103 bomber Abdel Baset Megrahi. The terminally ill prisoner was released from in Scotland on compassionate grounds, and got a hero’s welcome from Muammar Gadhafi and other Libyans upon his return.

Saif Gadhafi was involved in negotiating for Megrahi’s release, and accompanied him back to Libya.

Give money to Mother Teresa. Give money to the SPCA. Give money to that damn Jerry Lewis Telethon. But who in their right mind would give money to a “charity” run by an insane terrorist dictator who runs a country that sits atop a giant pool of oil?

Barack Obama. That’s who.


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You know you have a problem when the President of France is tougher than the President of the United States.

You know you have a problem when the President of France is tougher than the President of the United States.

What does it say when the President of France has more testosterone than the American President of the United States?

As the WSJ described the surreal scene at the UN, “At least the French President tried to sound tough, which isn’t hard when you stand next to Mr. Obama.” (Ouch!) After Obama used most of his United Nations speech to blather on about climate change and “a world without nuclear weapons,” Sarkozy brought him back to the real world.

Obama said, “We must never stop until we see the day when nuclear arms have been banished from the face of the earth.”

“We live in the real world, not the virtual world,” Sarkozy responded. “And the real world expects us to make decisions.”

Sarkozy continued to school Obama with more teachable moments:

“President Obama dreams of a world without weapons … but right in front of us two countries are doing the exact opposite.

“Iran since 2005 has flouted five security council resolutions. North Korea has been defying council resolutions since 1993.

“I support the extended hand of the Americans, but what good has proposals for dialogue brought the international community? More uranium enrichment and declarations by the leaders of Iran to wipe a UN member state off the map,” he continued, referring to Israel.

Talk about timing: Just as Obama wants to unilaterally lay down his nuclear arms, another inconvenient truth crops up in the form of a second Iranian nuclear facility. Seems like the last time Obama talked about disarming, the North Koreans tested another missile. Not that it fazed Obama.

Needless to say, we were shocked—shocked!—that Sarkozy’s mocking response to Obama’s utopian UN speechifying went unreported in U.S. newspapers.

Is it any wonder that newspapers continue to lose readers when they won’t even print news?


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NBC was unable to book the Greatest President In History for consecutive appearances on Meet the Press. So they went with Bill Clinton who reassured the left that there won’t be a repeat of the ’94 Democrat debacle.

“There’s no way they can make it that bad,” Clinton said. “The Democrats haven’t taken on the gun lobby like I did and they took 15 of our members out. So I don’t think, it’ll be, whatever happens, it’ll be manageable for the president.”

After speaking of the weakness of the current Republican party, Clinton was asked if the vast right wing conspiracy that took him down still exists. “Oh, you bet,” said Clinton. “Sure it is. It’s not as strong as it was, because America has changed demographically, but it’s as virulent as it was.”

So the vast right wing conspiracy still exists?

Wonder if she still has that blue dress.


– Written by Patrick Michael

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So at some point they must have had a meeting where someone said, “I have an idea. Let’s take the criminally insane killer on a field trip to the county fair.” And apparently, no one said, “Are you insane?”

Source: Associated Press

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Hmmmmm. We’re not doctors, but our advice is simple: Cut back on the burritos, compadre.

Source: Miami Herald


The scene: WNYW 5 News. Anchor Ernie Anastos blurts out an obscenity while bantering with weatherman Nick Gregory. Even funnier than the obscenity is the “what the hell did you just say” look on his female co-anchor’s face.